So it's important that we understand that life coaching isn't a form of therapy.
It's not coaching is coaching therapy is therapy.
Therapy tends to be more about helping people feel better.
We are coaching is generally specially made good coaches geared and focused more on working with people
to help them become better to accomplish some things and ultimately take action.
Here is one of the last times I'm going to mention Albert Ellis and the course maybe maybe not we'll
see.
And you once said The trouble with most forms of therapy is that yes granted therapy helps you to feel
better but it don't help you get better.
All right you've got to back up what you're learning with action action action and to be honest with
you.
This really does sum up the coaching process perfectly.
So here I am.
I've got a little exercise for you know if that's okay.
All right all about truth statements.
Remember that right.
Responsibility breeds empowerment.
No I don't know if you've asked the question yet.
So what is it that we must take responsibility for in order to grow and change and move forward and
make progress in life.
Well my friend it is imperative that we get good at taking responsibility for that which is true about
why we have the outcomes and the results that we have in our life.
Coaching is a progressive focused effort isn't it.
We're looking to move forward we're looking to overcome challenges to pursue goals to achieve things
to become better and ultimately grow.
So if we are not getting acquainted with thought which is true in our life then we're not really going
to be changing because old growth is about growing up and I put off the limiting beliefs on ways of
thinking that we developed back when we were young.
All right.
So I've got this little exercise for you here as a boats and just truth statements have got seven statements
written up here on the board.
All I'm going to do.
I'm going to read them out and I just want you to answer them honestly completely truthfully.
There's some of them might be more relevant to you than others but write them out and use them as as
a template or as a framework and to you know start asking other people that in all your life if you
see someone who's operating from an external locus of control someone who's down and doom and gloom
and sad about their circumstances and the situation.
Right.
We've got to start practicing coaching somewhere so friends and family members can often be a quite
safe place.
All right we want to learn how to communicate relatively compassionate lay as well and with grace we
don't want to be undermining or belittling people's outlooks on life or their beliefs or the world views
or anything like this.
So friends and family members can be a great place to start and the starting point can be truth statements.
All right.
See.
Right.
All friend of mine or brother or sister of mine.
Listen I'm doing this life coaching course at the moment online.
And I just wonder if you'd be willing to respond to a few questions.
I totally honestly.
This really only works with those people that you can see as being externally locust i.e. people who
haven't yet taken full responsibility for the outcomes in their lifes with me.
Coaching is about encouraging people to take a greater degree of responsibility for that which is true.
So I got a little idea here at the top of the boards right.
Most people's problems stem from the fact that they are on a happiness quest opposed to being on a truth
quest.
When we become students of truth rather than pursuers of happiness and we we grow because we just become
more acquainted with that which is true only a few people wake up each day with a burning desire to
know what is real and true for them.
Most other people room through life the rationalist just seek out the next emotional high.
People would rather be happy than mature in life to make us say this crazy statement here or share this
idea with you.
See how you respond.
It's kind of like most people don't get offended at us for being us.
Most people generally get offended when we tell them the truth.
It's like a lot of people are at war with that which is true.
I'll give you just an example here.
What would happen if you were to walk up to give you an example here are really really obese person.
All right.
And don't look particularly good.
But you were to say to them.
Oh look absolutely fantastic today and you've to say this really authentically really genuinely.
So you look fantastic today.
You look brilliant today you know.
Have you done something with your hair or your makeup have you been working out and you know fine well
nothing whatsoever.
And this person says Oh well fine thank you.
Yes I feel absolutely fantastic.
Yes I am unofficial.
Lovely.
And you just told them a bare faced lie.
What would then happen if you were to approach them and say you know this term is just an observation.
You're extremely over beat I'm wondering whether you know whether there's a reason why you overindulge
so much and they're most likely going to get really offended or really upset.
And if you think about it they're not really getting upset at you they're just getting upset that which
is true.
All right.
So our willingness to accept that which is true in our lives will determine whether we move beyond the
sticking points and the hurdles and the obstacles and the challenges that are holding us back and preventing
us from get what we ultimately want to get.
So here are some truth statements for you to think about and be completely honest in your responses
to if you're willing to right.
Think about a relationship that you have in your life a relationship that hasn't gone the way that you
hoped it would go or a relationship that's completely fallen apart.
Perhaps you might have had a complete communications break though there was very very easy isn't it
to point fingers and blame blame and all that kind of thing.
But if you were to respond to this question from a completely responsible place right take an ownership
of the part that you have played in the process respond.
The real reason that you have an issue in this relationship is the real reason.
What would it be all right now.
You might want to revisit this in fact all of these questions will be in a a worksheet.
Any additional material section anyway you can work through them in your own time.
But I just want to present them with you here and then make sure you spend some time answering these
questions honestly because the better acquainted you become with that which is true in your life the
better versus the more authentic you are going to be when gauging your future clients to be more authentic
and more real and more honest about what's actually going on for them to see the real reason why you're
not where you're really want to be in life.
Now look at some of the conversations that we've had with current law right.
M. Curran had blamed low confidence for I've got no idea how many years of what the truth of the matter
I actually was was apathy laziness.
All right.
Now what's true for Curran is gonna be true for all of us in some area of life right.
If I'm going to be completely honest right.
I want to have a six part.
I want to be.
I want you to have the perfect body and look absolutely fantastic.
But the reason why I don't look this way is because I don't go to the gym and at times when I do go
to the gym I don't work so I just.
And the spa or the Jacuzzi or the steam room is sit there and sweat and have a nice time.
All right.
So what I'm saying is is my laziness that gets me the physique that I have today.
All right.
It's only when we're honest on this level that we can start moving beyond our current state and into
something greater if we will but take action take action action action is one thing acknowledging that
which is true but if we're not willing then to do something to create a new truth then what's the point
anyway.
Okay let's talk about finances here.
No how are your finances if you are a multi multimillionaire or your finances are fine this one's gonna
be irrelevant to you but if your finances aren't where you hope or you would like them to be.
What's the real reason why you are not financially stable.
What's the real reason.
I mean do you really have a disciplined budget that you love to do you put away a percentage of what
you earned away every month into a rainy day account or a savings account or do you tend to be a bit
more sporadic in your spending and you spend your money on instant gratifying events and circumstances
and things that just give you a little bit short lived pleasure.
Because many people do all right.
But it may be the case that question isn't relevant for you.
May be the case that it is a right question for the real reason why you still have that secret habit.
You know the habit that you have in secret that if anyone else was to find out about you would be completely
embarrassed.
What's the real reason why you still have that thing going on in your life.
What's the real reason why you would still even entertain that.
What are you lacking in your life or what do you see yourself as like in your life.
Are you even willing to be this honest with yourself.
All right.
Question number five was the real reason why you prioritize happiness or comfort in your life in some
areas over the filament or progress or growth these are pretty tough and pretty challenging questions
to ask ourselves currently.
But these are the questions that we're going to be you.
We're going to be able to ask far more authentically to our clients if we've been willing to answer
them within ourselves.
First and foremost.
All right.
Remember self awareness fast self-management self-regulation second social influence third.
Right.
So if we want to influence others we want to impact others and we must first be impacted by looking
and acknowledging some of the tougher truths in our own life.
All right.
Which is sometimes hard to do isn't it which is why many people don't do it the real response that you're
having to this exercise.
What is the real honest response you're having right now.
Are you just saying okay this is too hard.
I don't want to do this.
Move on move on give me some theoretical information give me some bullet points I can write down all
right if you are seriously reflecting upon yourself I know you're going to be fine but if you're not
willing to go there you're not really willing to look at yourself in this area why why are you having
the response see Herman why aren't you taking yourself serious on this level question 7.
The honest reason why you're having the response No.
All right so it's not just about the response that you're having is the reason why you're having the
response.
What is it that you find it easier to avoid taking responsibility for in your life.
All right I'm going to shut up and pass this went over to you.
No listen these are the questions.
Go there my friend.
Because if you go there fast as this is going to qualify you and give you the authority to ask you a
future life coaching clients the exact same questions if even appropriate.
So go to the additional material section download the worksheets spend some time give some honest answers
and I'll look forward to seeing you again in the next clip.